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The Things You See In NYC

Tuesday, 23 Sep 2008- Written by
naked guy in highrise


Me and my buddy Dennis sometimes take a 15 minute Skoal break sometimes and head up to the 15th floor of our office building. Right next door is the Tribeca Tower, which is a 50+ apartment tower. We usually chill window watching things below and around us while shooting the shit.

Sometimes we see this guy hanging out his window smoking cigarettes. Pretty sure this dude isn’t supposed to smoke in his apartment so he sticks it to the man and takes a couple puffs 13 stories up out the window. Not necessarily the safest thing but i support his rebel cause. Just so happens this guy doesn’t believe in shirts. Every time we see him he is shirt-less. So Cigarette smoking 13th floor old rebel guy you keep sticking it to the man. I’ll keep laughing and window watching.

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Fantasy Football 2008 – The Dark Knight

Tuesday, 16 Sep 2008- Written by

Everyone knows my love for football. I also have another love when football season is around and that is Fantasy Football. Last year I was in FOUR fantasy football leagues. This year only three because I want to together more quality teams and be able to actually track who I’m going to test out on one team for a week to use on my other teams.

tom bradyI have one philosophy when picking my team. If there isn’t one of the top 3 stud backs to be picked go for a Quarterback who will never get injured because of a strong solid offensive line. Last year I rode Peyton Manning to a championship in my most intense league and made some great trades down the stretch with guys I got lucky with off waivers for more studs. Everyone wants the mainstream name guys like Moss, Brady, Peterson and Tomlinson. People fail to realize those guys only count for a fraction of the points you pick up. Your money picks are in the 2nd, 3rd and 4th rounds. Those players are the players you must rely on to back up your stud when he does have the 2-3 games he’ll suck in. Or in my case picking Tom Brady first round to only have him be injured for the year after 2 quarters of play.

I didn’t panic but I remembered it’s not about the stud its about the supporting cast. It’s kind of just like a movie for example ‘The Dark Knight’. Everyone knows Christian Bale will deliver an amazing performance but your not going to have him star in every second of the movie, you need supporting actors. Ok, no one though Heath Ledger could ever out perform Jack Nicholson as the joker. marshallwes welkerYou didn’t see it coming but you sit down and watch the movie and you forget Christian Bale is even in the movie. Heath Ledger was my Brandon Marshall last year. Oh, don’t worry I wanted him for the squeal this year as well even though he was out the first game. Now go on to two face, no one knew he was going to be in the movie other then his normal before the face burning self. But yet another surprise to movie goers. Just when you thought “Ok, I found one diamond in the rough I’m lucky!” you go on to find another great player who stepped up into a starting role for a hurt player. Enter Wes Welker who was my Harvey Two Face. He was picked up from the Dolphins to the New England Patriots. He is a small white receiver and punt returner who no one thought would get any touches. Oh he not only got tons of touches, he totaled 1,175 yards and 8 touchdowns. That’s what I call a great pickup. Enough of these movie references.

Now, what really pisses me off with fantasy football these past 3 years is the whole Running Back By Committee (RBBC). That throws you off with your running backs who aren’t all-purpose backs. By that I mean, a running back who will get touches in the red-zone and have 85 % of the teams carries from the backfield. fred taylorjones-drewNow, almost every team except 3 or 4 have RBBC. For example, the most popular team with RBBC is the Jacksonville Jaguars. They have Fred Taylor who would get many touches on any team and Maurice Jones-Drew who is so quick he tends to get more yards from scrimmage then Taylor. They split carries almost 50-50 and both get carries in the red-zone. You never know who is going to get you the points. One could have a monster day with yards and the other back could have all the touchdowns with little yardage for the day. That throws a wrench in your team for sure. That is why you just have to try to pick backs that will get those red-zone carries but it’s a huge gamble.

Well .. as the football season goes on I’m sure I’ll mention more Fantasy Football here.

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“I don’t Even Know this Product”

Saturday, 30 Aug 2008- Written by

Okay, this post is just simply long over due and in fact, I kind of found it as an injustice to all the dirtydalerz.com readers (yea the 5 of you) that it hadn’t already been posted. The quote alone to me is just a dead give away of what this post is about, but then again when im working at the Nutty Irishman, after 1am I have a lot of free time and nothing is on tv but Infomercials, so my knowledege of endless bullshit seems to top all others.

procedeBut lets get down to it and have a couple of laughs. The #1 infomercial that has me pissing my pants every time I see it is – PROCEDE sponsored/endorsed/used/worshiped by none other that Giuseppe Franco. YESSSSS, Its all becoming clear now! First off, Giuseppe Franco alone is a scary looking dude. When I see him, I see the resemblance of a rat who goes tanning with traces of Snobbish Douche bag. Call me crazy but I think I just hit the nail on the head with that description. Ok, I could go all day with hatred towards this man but lets get to the real reason behind this post and thats the commercial for Procede.

It starts out with the camera I guess looking at the receptionist desk in, I can only assume is Giuseppe Franco’s salon, but the odd fact is that Franco himself is behind the counter, now I guess he could be answering his own phone calls and making his own hair appointments with his clients to give them the more interpersonal relationship …. But I doubt it. The funny thing is that when the camera shows Franco he is like in utter shock and disbelief and throws his arms out to welcome you into his shop. buseyOhhhhh that Giuseppe Franco is one SWELL GUY! Well then the commercial makes Franco’s Hair Salon look all Sassy and Swanky because its in HOLLYWOOD and shows that his clientele base is to be envied and this is my favorite part in the entire infomercial ::break for laughs:: out of all his “celebrity” clients he could of picked he picks none other then the biggest whack job every to roam the free world in GARY BUSEY?!?!? Are you kidding me? This guy is the epitome of a Psychopaths and yet Giuseppe Franco has him as his “A-List” Clientele. Lets put it this way, I go to a Russian Barber shop in town and there is more famous people that go there than Gary Busey. Fuck the guy who rummages through my recyclables is 200 times more stable than Gary “those can’t be my real teeth” Busey. Then Franco and Busey in the commercial do one of the most powerful man hugs I’ve ever seen, its a little too convincing for my taste. To tell you the truth, I bet you the director of the commercial (probably Franco as well) was like, “Hey Gary, can you give Giuseppe a welcome handshake or something,” and good old Busey probably went in for a kiss at first but then decided to tone it down a notch and simply lift Giuseppe up and give him a bear hug the likes of which have not been matched. I bet after the hug Busey slapped Franco on the ass and said “ill meet you in the showers!” LoL, as you can tell this by far is the best part of the infomercial for me.

The Infomercial, gets better I believe because then you get these testimony’s from guys who have said they have used this product and suddenly hair started to sprout out of nowhere. Let me tell you the before pictures of some of these guys is simply ridiculous. gfPeople who have gone through chemo therapy 5 or 6 times have more hair on there head than these guys. Jeeeez, is there any limit to my mocking? I apologize, i’m just trying to emphasize a point on how stupid this commercial is). They say how great it is and how it really worked for them but then you look on the bottom of the screen and it says *RESULTS NOT TYPICAL* case and point because the SHIT IS GARBAGE!!! and doesn’t work. At this juncture in the infomercial I just don’t know what to make of it, but then Giuseppe comes back on and says “My name is Giuseppe Franco (like that would matter anyway, and weigh heavily on me actually purchasing this piece of shit hair product) and I wouldn’t put my name out there if I didn’t 100% endorse this product”. Okay fine, Mr.Franco believes in this product and must know all about it and what not in order to put his ULTIMATELY HIGH reputation on the line for the world to see and hear. But NOOOOO he then follows up by saying “I have NO IDEA whats in this product or How It works….but it WORKS”.

Oh MAN Mr.Franco, give a nigga some rope and he wants to become a cowboy. JESUS! I give you a shadow of doubt and you totally fuck me over on this one. I thought maybe if you were putting your name out there at the risk of possible tarnish you would at least know whats in the product. NO! So Giuseppe your product could contain biomedical waste, or rat turds or doo doo juice and you wouldn’t have any idea but you know that shit works. WAY TO GO GIUSEPPE! Your the reason why the OZONE layer and the Ice Caps are melting. I don’t care if I’m over doing it but, I purely HATE YOU SIR.

On that note the rest of the infomercial is stupid and gives you ways to purchase the bullshit and I even think there is a free Giuseppe Franco T-shirt available if you buy like 4 dozen boxes. Well whatever. I hate Giuseppe Franco and I hate Gary Busey and overall I fucking Hate Infomercials but this had to get posted and it had to get torn to pieces……LATER

Love,
John

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Guido Beach (a Must watch)

Sunday, 3 Aug 2008- Written by


UPDATE (8.20.08): Video got trashed so I added the other one by this group

This is a big reason why I do not go to clubs .. or beach clubs .. or actually this summer haven’t been to a beach. Because these people tend to be there pumpin’ the mega mix. Watch till the end of the video it gets hilarious and basically proves my shirt to be true (below).

brian approves

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