If you haven’t caught the new Miller Light campaign please watch the commercial above first (i’ll wait). Ok done? Now onto the Man Laws. The premise of these ‘Man Laws‘ is to create a guideline to men for those times when you need help to see if something is ‘manly’ or your being a pussy. The first commercial they had was the “You Poke it, You own it” man law. Basically the Law goes “If your friend is at the bar and has to bring back more beers then he can normally handle and he uses his fingers to poke the top to carry the beers then said ownership of the beers he stuck his big sausage link in .. is now his .. the You poke it, you own it rule”. The commercials are very funny because they have square table of a bunch of macho “manly” men making these rules with a small lil frail old dude writing down the Laws in an oversized book. So I went on a search for more Man Laws and this is what I came up with it:
It is never accetable for the designated wing man to abort the mission.
bylaw: In the event that the wingman goes home with a beast, it is never to be mentioned, EVER!
It is ok to call dibs on a female, but a man only has two weeks to seal the deal, then the female is up for grabs.
A man should never move in on a woman at the end of the night that another man has been buying drinks for.
bylaw: Incorrect, at the end of the night all bets are off. If afformentioned man had made real progress, vultures would have no chance. Whatsmore she’d already be gone with afformentioned man.
A man must not look at another man while chatting in the men’s room, no matter what.
bylaw: No wandering eyes, eyes should always be stareing at wall ahead.
Shotgun is to be called while leaving the current location, Never to be called while still at the location or your disqualified.
bylaw: Shotgun is to only be called once the vehicle is present. If there is a premature shotgun call the its the first touch of the car in question.
When at the movie theather with another man you must have one empty seat between both men, no exceptions.
bylaw: center buffer seat should be used to hold concession items/jackets
(shake and pat) Man to Man hugs are only allowed at a victorious sporting events, funeral, or after having made hookup history.
bylaw: theres nothing wrong with hugging one of your bros as long as it is not an embrace, a wrap around with two pats is always acceptable.
You never discuss with your girlfriend what goes on at guys night out!
Basic Translation: What we see there, what we say there, let it stay there, when we leave there!! .. Man LAW !!
IF a buddy gets stuck talking to the fat chick at the party, under no circumstance are you allowed to leave his side. But if said fat chick has a HOT girlfriend, you are more then allowed to let your buddy fall on the grenade.
There shall be no DIB’s taken on any hot female temp agent at work – They are fair game for all.
Bylaw: If the competition is getting out of hand, men involved must flip a coin for her, or a game of rock/paper/scissors.
I believe all those MAN LAWS are true and fuckin’ funny. If you have a MAN LAW you think is worthy of putting on this site, just comment on this post and I will add your MAN LAW to the Dirty Dalerz MAN LAWS section, which will fill up soon. Also, there is a new game that orginated last night in the cinelli household “how much of a man are you” .. where everyone writes fucked up things on a peice of paper (i.e. lick another mans armpit, smell a fart that has been layed in a bottle) that will definitely test your MANHOOD and is fuckin hilarious to watch so that will catch on quick. Leave comments dicks.
Check the Dirty Dalerz Softball section because we finished our second double header of the season by embarasseing the team that kicked us out of the playoffs by run-ruling them in the first game and straight-out outplaying them in the second game, new stats are up and player of the game(s) will be posted tomorrow when all votes are casted.