1s Annual Dirty Dalerz Golf Open
Now only one Dirty Dalerz guy knows how to truly golf because he played for a College team ‘SUNY Farmingdale’, but that doesn’t hold back the rest of the DirtyDalerz from actually going out there and taking a couple of hacks. In making plans for the weekend and wanting to do something both involving drinking and having fun competing we are traveling to Deer Park for the First Annual Dirty Dalerz Golf Open. We will be teeing off at Heartland Par 3 golf course, which sports famous Par 3’s from many golf courses around the world. With a scheduled 6 golfers on the course tonight they will battle it out against all odds and inebriation for the title of Dirty Dalerz Golf Open Champion. Of course the beer will be flowing like the 7th hole on the mini-golf’s putt-putt waterfall during the course of the match but of course as we all start finding out grooves heading to the 9th hole the competition will get fierce. Here are a handful of player written profiles for tonights even:
Brian “Slow and Steady” Cinelli
Known to lace up the golf cleats and dress in funny outfits he hits the course with his trademark “Slow and Steady” wins the race attitude. His strong points being his Irons and putting it on the green he should have a good outing at Heartland Par 3 course. Now his drives out the box and putting has been an issue. His nerves get to him and usually starts with a slow roller out the tee box with hopes of hitting the fair way, coupled with getting the shakes on the green and failing to hit two foot putts. His form is great, but form doesn’t always win you the match. Known to also loosen up after a few beers lets see if this will give him the edge over the favorites Charlie Spahr and Tommy Cinelli.
Tommy “Ruff” Cinelli
I have been playing golf all my life! As you can see from the picture above Tommy suffers from a wicked slice that has bugged him his whole life. Tonight that will all come to an end as Tommy “RUFF” Cinelli will actually play a good round of golf all the way up to hole 9 where he gets nervous and puts the ball in the water every shot he has. I going to attack the golf course and greens trying to win at all costs. Big thing stay out of the Ruff and in the fairway. Also booze and get fucked up in the process. John Daly for President!!
Charlie “Watch Your Back” Spahr *Favorite
Well i started playing golf at around the age of 8. Im 25 now, so that gives me about 17 years of golf experience. Ive played for a while now so I’d like to say that my game is pretty good. Getting off the tee can be a little rough and most of the time i have no fucking idea where the hell its going to go. The iron play is my strong point but still i have some good days and some bad. Putting is always going to be a damn mystery for me, considering I’ve tried just about everything. LOL.. When I play along with bud light i tend to have a little bit of a better day due to loosening up. Always helps. Well see what happens tonight as I try to take the trophy!
Rob “The Sneak” Goetchius
This guy only cares about drinking…he will be sneaking in his natty light and making sure that no one under estimates the power that beer can have on someone’s game…not only does he use his sneakiness to get beer in to help improve his game but beware because he might sneak in a throw of a golf ball instead of a swing in order to help his game along…he might not be the best golfer out there, at least sober, but somehow he always finishes near the top…they don’t call him the sneak for no reason
Chris “Stroke it like Barkley” Caraballo
Golf is not my strong point was picked up during my freshman year of college. Learning at the great campus of nassau community college is where I developed such a sweet swing that I actually thought “Hey I can actually go on tour and make some extra cash” … But little did I know, I sucked. At this point charles barkely with the ugliest swing in the world could probably beat me and even he would be making that extra cash on the side. But overall I guess all I need is one mulligan. But I’m siked let’s play some holes!
Well i must say my short game is really good from all the minputt and tiger woods games through the years….i use the happy gilmore swing and have the patience of a school girl… But some have said i look and played like michelle wie lol
Jimmy “Chubbs” Hering
Ive been away from the game for a few years…and when I say that I mean I havnt been to the driving range in a while.what I lack in skill and form I make up for in good looks,and if all else fails I’m not too proud to cheat
The Official score card will be scanned after play and a picture of the Champion Shot Gunning a beer will be posted.