We tell it like it is .. #realtalk

Turkey Bowl Years in Review/Rankings

Wednesday, 26 Nov 2008- Written by

2006 in Review:
2006 turkey bowlWell in 2006 “Team Dynasty” defeated “The Franchise” by two touchdowns. Last year was the first year of the Turkey Bowl Draft. “Team Dynasty” was represented by General Manager and President of Operations Adam Kruger, and “The Franchise” was represented by GM and POO Tom Cinelli. The 1st pick ever for a Dirty Dalerz Turkey Bowl went to Rob “I eat everything in sight” Romano. And that was to be believed as the first mistake that “The Franchise” would make…

The Most Valuable Player went to the #2 pick in the 2006 draft, Tim “screw you Tom for not picking me #1″ Treubig. The weather made it a very difficult for guys like John “MR. CHUNKY SOUP” Cinelli and Walter “Polish Sausage” Celenski to make their diamond like cuts in the grass. As the amount of mud puddles and rain increased the level of play decreased. As the level of play decreased Ryan “Yao Ming” Heller still managed to be 2 feet taller than everyone else on “Team Dynasty.” The tall bastard was able to reel in 3 TD passes from Tom “The Farmingdale Roger Clemens” Cinelli all due to the fact that no one could reach as high as him, once again I reinstate, he’s a tall bastard. But with the combination of Treubig’s 4-TDS & 2-INTs, Dennis “I weigh 150lbs soaking wet” Treubig’s 2-INTs, Daro’s & BC’s slot receiver type play, Matt “look who’s jacked now” Matt’s tackling ability, Adam’s golden arm and MR. Chunky Soup’s rushing touchdowns, Team Dynasty was able to pull away with a victory and the 1st ever set of Turkey Bowl Championship trophies.

2007 in Review:
2007 turkey bowlIn the beautiful weather last year the 2007 Turkey Bowl went on to be the longest game in its history. The game went into 15 overtimes so we decided to go with a stupid idea of Field Goals. (of course I think its stupid b/c I lost but still when you think about it we should’ve done it a totally different way) Last year, the winning team consisted of Rogers, Matt Matt, Bubba (sorta), Rob, Hilton, Tom C, Hizzo, & BC.

Tim “Blue Puke” Rogers went from spectator to MVP last year and his 2 TDs, even though not big in numbers but they were crucial to the victory. The biggest reason why he won MVP was due to him puking up blue gatorade during the middle of the game won over the voters. There was one upset pudgy guy among the voters though who thought that he should’ve been the MVP. He goes by the name of Robert Romano. Even though his team won, he was pissed that he wasn’t MVP, and to this day still is.

bubbaknockoutThrough the brutal tackling that goes on during the turkey bowl, one of the favorites of the event was knocked the fuck out. Poor old Bubba took a knee to the head and ended up with a nice sized lump above his right eye. The final prognosis was a concussion which also forced him to have Thanksgiving with the Celenski family b/c he couldn’t drive home. Last year’s game also had the most spectators it’s ever had. I think the final count was 12 people. Among the record crowd was a voice that long island sports has been hearing for a very long time. Even though we were playing football, Mr. Celenski was still yelling “POKE EM” & “HIT EM WITH YOUR STICK!” This year we are expecting a crowd of 0 people b/c it will be fucken freezing out. I think Mr. C will still show up but watch from walter’s car and honk once for Poke ‘Em and twice for Hit em with your stick! Among the stat leaders last year were some familiar faces in Treubig, Romano, Tom C, & Adam. Treubig had a combined 7 TDs, Romano had 5TDs and both Adam and Tom had atleast 5 TD passes. As like every other year, the defense in the Turkey Bowl was fantastic and I believe the final score was 94-91. I think it was something around 12 TDs scored per team. Another year down and another turkey bowl in the books. 2008 is next!

2008 Player Profiles:

tim rogersTim Rogers AKA Cookie Monster
The man who came out of nowhere to shock everyone last year by being the 2007 MVP earned his nickname of Cookie Monster because of his episode of puking blue Gatorade in the middle of the game last year. He had two HUGE touchdown receptions last year to help his team to win but the bigge st factor still remains Jack Daniels. B/c of his Irish background this Mick drinks like a champ and only drinks Jack Daniels. He has been known to blackout so fast that he goes home to fall asleep by 10pm so that has the potential to help him but I’m sure we’ll be able to keep him out past midnight on Thanksgiving Eve. The 24 year shoulder injury is still a big concern as it was last year but he knows he has to play well in order to be in the MVP race this year.

tim rogersWalter Celenski AKA “POKE EM” JrThe man whose motivation is driven by the words Poke Em is ready to battle this year to be on the winning side of the Turkey Bowl. As for solid players, this guy is among the best of em. He has played solid every Turkey Bowl for 4 years running. Unfortunately, his solid play every year hasn’t earned him an MVP yet, but this could be his year. Last year he started off the game with a 75 yd TD pass to Timmy Treubig and had key receptions throughout the entire game. One big factor that gives him the edge over the other players is his hot sisters, Stacey and Kristen. No one else on the field has two hot siblings like he does, even though rob comes close with Katie-Lynn but she is only one hot sibling and not two. He is only one that has been consistently playing football for the past couple years with his work flag football team so he has a huge advantage there. The injury prone Polish Sausage is ready to have a big game in 2008.

Tom Hind AKA Sloppy Asian
TOMMY HINDDDDDD!!! Tom is ready to play like he did back when he won the MVP in 2005. Despite his status of getting ridiculously sloppy when he drinks, I know he’s ready to play like he did in high school as a tight end. This could be his year again since its seems to be the Jets’ year as well. He has been watching the Jets win all year long so he’s been amped up to play for awhile now. If his dad sets up a tailgate for the Turkey Bowl then he’s screwed b/c Hizzo is known to become the drunk sloppy asian at his father’s tailgates, which will lower his level of play significantly. Another big factor that could lower his level of play is his living situation. Since his move into the city Hizzo has not been able to go out and have a football catch with walter like he did probably around twice a week when he lived in the dale. Those are two factors against him but all that watching of football will drive him to have a huge game to reclaim his MVP status.

Rob Romano AKA Silent Bob
Bojo is pissed. He is pissed b/c he wasn’t crowned the MVP last year. He had 4 TDs and is always an absolute beast on defense. The former Long Island Championship Defensive MVP with 4 sacks is ready to hurt people in the Turkey Bowl. Like Wally he always has a solid game offensively and defensively. The 2004 MVP is predicting an MVP kind of game in ’08. He is the only player who plays this game sober so he SHOULD be beating everyone and SHOULD be MVP every year, but he’s not. He now has a fur coat on his face that makes him look exactly like Silent Bob. That and the other 250lbs of him will weigh him down a little bit. Don’t be fooled by his box like figure, the kid can move and has been chasing perps for 3 years now and might just be in top shape. Watch out for this guy to crush people on Thanksgiving, and haul in a few TDs as well.

Richie “You Got Knocked The Fuck Out” Lieberman
Bubba might be the funniest Turkey Bowl participant ever. The first year he played he was so drunk still that he had no concern for his body as he threw it in front of Matt Matt while trying to tackle him. To this day it is still the funniest moment of the Turkey Bowl’s history. Last year though he was hurt once again by taking a knee to the head and giving himself a concussion. Bubba’s drinking is the absolute reason for all these times he has gotten hurt and all the reasons why he is also the funniest player of our time. He is not in shape at all and is still drinking like it’s his 21st birthday. Defense is the big part of his game because of the way he throws his body around. We have no idea what to expect from Bubba this year because he doesn’t even know what to expect. I’m hoping for some more laughs, which is a guarantee!

Matt Matt AKA Big Black
M squared is an absolute beast. The Brandon Jacobs of farmingdale’s Turkey Bowl. If you are close to the end zone all you have to do is give him the ball because NOBODY is stopping him. Nobody can stop him and bubba tried one year and got destroyed and since then no one has done it since. He’s fast and ridiculously jacked and can bench press hizzo’s car. On defense I mean he’s a freak of nature and if you have the ball and he’s running towards you all you better do is take a knee. If he hits you, say good night. Matt Matt is always ready to play and I’m not sure if he’s drinking or not the night before but either way he’ll dominate.

Tom Cinelli AKA Farmingdale’s Lance Harbor
The QB for all of our past turkey bowls will be in action again. He holds the record of being able to throw the ball the full length of the football field. His arm strength might have increased due to the fact that he’s in 12 softball leagues and guns the shit out of the softball from shortstop. Even though the football is bigger than a softball, the kid can straight up throw the pigskin. As long as he has someone that can catch up to his throws the deep threat will be almost impossible to stop. He may be working thanksgiving eve and if he is, its crap first of all, then he’ll be ready to go. He’ll probably throw for at least 7 TDs this year.

Brian “I wear wristbands when I go out” Cinelli
BC always is ready to play for the turkey bowl. The creator of the league and website loves this shit. He usually takes 306 pictures of the game but ever since Bubba dumped his camera in a beer 4 years ago, BC has lost the urge to take pictures anymore. Over the years not only has his production increased but the number of weird tattoos as well. With the 7 wristbands and headbands that he wears for these games he is energized to be the sleeper of the game. He quietly racks up the receptions and is always hustling on defense. When everyone else is hungover and throwing up he’s busting his ass to make a big play. Get ready to see a couple big plays from this guy this year.

John “I’M GONNA BE A DADDY” Cinelli
I mean the guy is gonna have baby boy soon so he’s full of energy and ready to make his boy proud. This guy is always a beast and just like Matt Matt if you have the ball and he’s running at you, you better take a knee. If he tackles you, you are screwed. They didn’t name him the Top Lineman on Long Island for nothing. Either if he’s on the line protecting the QB or running the ball the kid is tough to stop. No one is going to blitz on him, better yet, no two people are going to be able to blitz on this guy. He will go in the top 3 without a doubt. The Daddy-to-be is going to have a dominant performance on thanksgiving. Oh yeah, he’ll be sober too b/c he’ll be working, which is huge in this game.

After a dismal showing in 2006 Daro is back for 2008 to better his name for his Turkey Bowl Future. Daro was ranked high in the 2006 draft which he was drafted top 5 but played about 30% of the game because he was hung over and out of shape. Now that he has 2 years under his belt he is ready to flurish like he should. No more sitting on the sidelines taking a few plays off. This year he has assured me his best foot forward for whichever team picks him. Given he will be one of the people who will be absolutely sober on Thanksgiving due to working the Thanksgiving eve shift at the Nutty he will be in tip top shape. Expect many yards, points and tackles from Mr. Daro.

Glenn “I lost the game last year” Cinelli
I still blame Glenn for losing the game last year. Even though it was his first game with us I still give him 99.8% of the blame! (The other .2% goes to walter for throwing to him on 4th down) When we needed him to make a tackle, he couldn’t do it, when we needed him to catch a pass when he was wide open ON FOURTH DOWN LATE IN THE GAME, he couldn’t do it, and he missed his field goal chance in OT. The little bastard has had a year to improve his skills and get a little bigger. I have no idea if he did any of those things b/c I’ve seen him once since the game and it was about a week ago. I’m almost certain that he won’t be hung over but I mean all I have on him is last year’s game and his performance was poo. He can upgrade his poo status with a solid game this year. It’s called tough love Glenn, get over it!

Charlie Spahr AKA Minus 40
The kid has lost 40lbs. I mean he’s a new man and he’s full of energy and ready to go. He also quit smoking, well from the last I heard he has been smoke free for 4 days, which in Charlie spahr smoking days is 2 years. The one thing I remember from Charlie’s performances is that he always comes up with a big play; either it’s a fumble recovery or a key TD. I’m predicting a couple big plays from him now that he’s 40lbs lighter on his feet. Not sure what he’s doing on Thanksgiving Eve so I can’t comment on that but he may be working which once again makes him sober for the game.

**Quick Comment: As I’m typing these profiles I’m realizing that every year more and more people are going to be sober. WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT ABOUT? It’s thanksgiving eve, get fucked up! The game is only awesome b/c everyone is hung over. I mean MVPs are earned b/c people throw up. I think half the people are going to be sober for the game. SUCH CRAP! Maybe we should play Sober vs Hung Over and see who wins. Hung Over would definitely win. -Tim

Dennis Treubig AKA Dr. Dennis
I mean the kid’s a Treubig and the past shows that we don’t suck at much. There are plenty of things that we suck at but it’s not a long list. I mean shit, my dad got hit by a pickup truck and was thrown 7 feet into the air and LANDED ON HIS FEET and fell over. Ended up walking it off and was fine. Like to see you try that and land on your feet! Also he’s a doctor so he is CLEARLY the smartest kid out there. The IQ of one team probably doesn’t add up to his, which makes him a big threat. What he lacks in physicality (is that even a word?.. safe to say my brother got the smart genes) he makes up with his brain. He’ll outsmart anyone on the field and um yeah he’s pretty damn athletic too. He always makes big plays and I know he’ll be hung over b/c he’ll be drinking with me. Watch out b/c I think he gained weight since last year’s game, he’s up to about 163lbs now.

Timmy Treubig
Timmy was the MVP of 2006 .. where he put everyone to shame with endless touchdown catches and tackles. He was on the Dynasty squad that was a force to be reckoned with and will stand the test of time in the Turkey Bowl Hall of Fame. In 2007 there was not a drop in performance just a more tightly played game between two teams. Timmy always brings the A-game after bringing his A-game to the bar the night before. He plays like a man possessed. Lets see if the MVP of 2006 can come back and take the crown in 2008 (maybe its an even year type of thing). None, the less .. his game is exciting .. just as exciting as his hot gf (lol, this was written by bojo) ((no it wasn’t)). Lets just see the stats of this years Turkey Bowl for Timmy Treubig.

Rob “Ron Crank” Frank
Coming into his First year with in the Dirty Dalerz sports teams, Rob has been proving himself left and right and impressing everyone inbetween. EXCEPT, for himself, I don’t think I have ever seen someone beat themselves up more in my life. He is worse then Carrie, hearing all those voices in his head. If he learns to shut them out and build up some confidence an MVP game is not far out of reach for this amazing player. He is out to prove something in his first year at the Turkey Bowl. Expect Great catches .. big gains .. and bigger tackles. A lot of promise coming from this player.

Comments Off on Turkey Bowl Years in Review/Rankings

Comments are closed.