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What Really Grinds My Gears

Thursday, 30 Aug 2007- Written by

Thank you Peter Griffin for your inspiration for this new topic about what bothers you in todays world. I can easily go on for weeks about things that really bother me. In my travels to work everyday from Long Island to Downtown Manhattan I come across tons of things that rub me the wrong way or in Peters words “grinds my gears”. While frequenting many bars and different parties I can come up with tons of material. So let’s start … here is the first official ….


My first topic is girls wearing white pants in the summer, oh wait I’m not done, not only are you wearing pants that are more then kinda see-through your also wearing a DIFFERENT color thong to accompany those white beauties. At first your normal guy instinct comes into play and you cannot keep your eye off of this Eight Wonder of the World. Then after seconds of thinking the dirtiest thoughts imaginable, like how bad you would abuse that ass and use her thong for floss. You look down and that tingling sensation you had in your pants has now turned into a huge Hard-on. Cool time for the Up-Tuck. Now I know what your thinking “Ok! I caught a hard-on from looking at a girls ass & least its not some dudes ass” but then you come back to reality and your standing on the train while this girl is in front of you and 3 people are looking at you have this HUGE meat pole standing at attention (this isn’t from personal experience I swear.. really) its really not cool. What grinds my gears is .. Girls please wear white underwear when trying to accomplish this feat of wearing white almost see-through pants or I will accidentally spill my Poland spring bottle on your ass so you WILL be the center of attention a little bit more. Footnote: The Whales Tail is ‘OK’ and always fun to look at, and is encouraged. Oh here is an example of the White Pants I’m talking about:


Courtesy of the movie Superbad

Another thing that REALLY grinds my gears is guys wearing Capri pants. Seriously when your adopting womens style for your own your a flaming homo. It’s bad enough there are gay guys out there wearing these capris ONLY because they went shopping with there hetero ‘girlfriends’ and bought them at the store ‘5-7-9′ but do you really have to go out and buy MALE Capris? This like guidos wearing parachute pants .. they were shunned from all male existence. I mean only one person can pull it off M.C. Hammer of course and that is only because he is ‘2 legit to quit’ (then lose millions supporting his entourage, then going on the Surreal Life) for that I give him a pass for it. But, If I catch another male wearing Capri pants out somewhere I will seriously kick him in the balls so hard that the only thing he will have left is a vagina. This goes for the fag who plays tennis Rafael Nadal “pictured below” … I am coming for you and your balls are not safe (no homo). So if you find yourself mistakenly purchasing Capri Pants do mankind a favor cut them to resemble regular shorts … please.

male capri pants

That ends this weeks “What really grinds my Gears” if you would like to submit a subject an a rant e-mail me at bcinelli[at] , look for more things to come from headquarters.

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