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Wednesday, 16 Mar 2011- Written by Brian
If you have ever taken the NYC subway you know you will always see interesting things. Whether it be crazy bums singing oldies songs, the man playing the electric keyboard horribly (2/3 platform 34th street stop), rats running around like they own the place and even funny things written in wierd places. I have been taking the train to downtown Manhattan for about 4-5 years now, and everyday is a new experience.
Posted all around the subway stations are Notices/Updates about train interruptions due to track work and such. I mean any given day I can literally pass 30 of these notices while taking the subway to and from work. Just so happens this very day I passed two notices that had something written on it, which isn’t uncommon people will write anything anywhere in the subways. This day was different because of the pure insanity written on the notice. Here is one of them:
Just in case you can’t read it clearly or your retarded it says “King Juan Carlos of Spain controls the Black Pope’s Drug Trade”. Yes, whoever wrote this retarded crap actually used punctuation which is not common on subway garble so they gain style points there. What the fuck is this person talking about though? I looked up ‘King Juan Carlos of Spain’ in google which basically gave me exactly what it said, that the King of Spain is Juan Carlos (the more you know!). Now WHO the fuck is the BLACK POPE and what the fuck is he doing with a DRUG TRADE? Trying to Decipher this message just makes my head hurt. I associate POPE with religion obviously but BLACK POPE, I never heard of one. Is that kind of like how there is a Black Santa? I don’t know but this garbage written on signs needs to make more sense if you want to get your point across.
Now onto the second literary genius subway note:
“The Jesuits are trying to control the food supply through the internationa fund for Agricultural Development (IFAD) in Rome”. Yes, yet another brain buster of a sentence. Since I was a grammar Nazi on the first note i’ll point out it was written correctly and use of big words are spot on but the writer is missing an ‘L’ in ‘international’, if your going to get all political on us at least spell the simple words right. Now trying to make sense of this or researching it honestly after the first statement I couldn’t give a shit and rather I’m just going to say whatever points this person tried to make clearly don’t come across.
If your going to make political proclamations on the subway signs here is a few tips; make it simple, make it short and to the point, and make it something other people give a shit about OTHER then yourself. If your going to spend the time doing that, fucking make it funny too because people love humor. Seeing this shit on the subways is laughable because someone actually cared enough to express there opinion on crap politics, instead of drawing a penis going into someones mouth or black spots over someones teeth to indicate missing teeth on movie posters or something. Now using a razor and cutting up posters and re-assembling them to make funny pictures like Poster Boy, now that is worthwhile.
In end, keep this bullshit out the subways unless your funny about it.