“Worse then licking a 9 Volt Battery”

Thursday, 10 Apr 2008

I am always full of fun stories and such that people love to hear. Hence why I’m in the process of writing a book about my adventures in life from regular life experiences and then the sexual experiences I have gone through. Most of them are HILARIOUS while some just straight up gross, and a few normal good ones here and there. Well since I been lacking in updating the site why not break out a chapter of my book onto here to promote it while I write it. This chapter is called “Worse then licking a 9 Volt Battery”. —— Start of Story —— This story happened around maybe summertime before 10th grade as my memory serves me right. I had still not had sex yet let alone get very far in my sexual adventures so I was due to have a softball thrown my way. If I had known that the softball would come in the form of the most disgusting vagina I have ever smelt or licked. I would have let the pitch go by for a strike out. Everyone knows there is nothing more embarrassing then striking out in softball but I would gladly take the abuse and embarrassment then to ever go through this again. My best friend Charlie Spahr was known for throwing some sick parties back in the day and I believe this party took place in the summer. I always invited tons of people and so did Charlie from either work or just different groups of friends just to up the ‘cool’ factor and have an array of people at his house. Well I had been working at Adventureland that summer in the arcade either dealing out change or working the ticket counter for prizes. It was a decent job for a kid who just wanted some extra pocket change. I met tons of cool people too while working there also who I’m still friends with to this day. There was this one girl who I thought was cute. I mean I got to see her in the gay uniforms at work everyday (referee tops) and black pants or shorts. She wore those black yoga pants which basically doesn’t leave much to the imagination and was never rocking a camel toe which every girl seems to suffer from while wearing those pants. She was well put together while at work. She had dark hair with little blond highlights, decent chest, sick tight ass and a decent face with barely any blemishes. We would always flirt at work and play around with each other. One of the guys I used to pal around with when I was working there was trying to put in the good word for me there, and did so successfully. She was diggin’ me and I was diggin her. One day Charlie tells me to invite some girls over we are going to have a bash at his house his parents are away so that meant we could be as loud as we wanted and could stay up as late partying as we wanted so this was a big deal. After I pass her while she is outside working one of the games they totally rip you off at, I come back and ask her if her and her friends want to come to a party my friend is throwing which isn’t far from work in Farmingdale. She says yes, and I proceed to get her number and start thinking in my head ‘OMG! Brian your so getting some ass tonight!!’. We part ways and I finish working the rest of the day. I have never rode my bike home as quick as I rode it home that day. Yes! I rode my bike to Adventureland every day to work, give me a fucking break I was like 15 and had no other way of getting there. I get home shower and jerk off because no one wants to be a 2 pump chump (yeah, like I was going get laid it was just an excuse to squeeze out some knuckle children) when I finally do get my junk touched by someone else then myself … who is a girl. That’s a trick of the trade; release the baby batter that’s been on deck for a while so you last longer when you get down to business. Charlie then picks me up and we proceed to get beer illegally with someone’s ID. We get the brew and head back to his house to prepare. The girl called me and told me she was on her way. I was like “What the fuck, I need to help Charlie set up, get things rolling and drink our first brews of the night”. I inform Charlie so we set up quicker and she comes with two other people. This is where it gets fucking real interesting. She looks like she is dressed like she just came out of a trailer park, which I later found out she was from a trashy part of her town after the fact. It gets better, In tow she has a dude with spiked punk cut hair with a cut off “bad religion” shirt and a girl who looks like she is 13 and is blond who has a 6-pack of Smirnoff ices under her arm. Right then and there I should of told them party was cancelled please go back to Walmart I hear they are having a two-for one on anything you want please leave. No, my best friend Charlie who I wanted to kill after this maneuver goes “Welcome to the Party! There is ice upstairs to put your beer in and we got the BBQ fired up in a few”. Thanks Charlie I’ll be kicking you in the balls later. People start showing up after and I’m getting drunk of course so I set my sight on the if you can call it a so-called prize and start operation ‘get my dick touched’. I start talking and her two friends are basically on top of us because they have been outcasted by the rest of the party because A) the girl looks like she is 13 and B) the dude looks like he is going to break a beer bottle and stab someone with it if they cross him. I do not make this shit up. We get to talking and I come to find out the kid with spiky hair is her ex. My thoughts are “good move dip shit you told her she could invite anyone”. To my surprise he was totally cool with me talking to her, but I sensed the vibe it was only cool because he probably had his way with her prior to her coming there. I tried not to think about Mr. Bad Religion plowing out the girl I wanted to get with. Apparently, I’m making some headway and sound somewhat interesting to this girl so I start to hint towards the “hey touch my dick” lines. Well not as blunt but I asked her if she wanted to go down to Charlie’s bed room (yes, Charlie this is where I get you back) and get this no-pants party started. I have a nice buzz going at this point and couldn’t tell you how far along she was but not as bad as me. We get down to the room and just sit on the bed, start talking and giggling. Its first move time and back then I was the biggest pussy but, I went in for the kill and gave her a kiss. She tasted like cigarettes. Ew! This is starting off great. We are awkwardly positioned so I ask “Want to lay down?”, I’m so slick. We laid down and I’m thinking to myself “Well Brian I know you wish she was in her work clothes and she fucked up any chances of you ever liking her again because she looks like a trailer trash kid but you might as well just see how far you can take things tonight and get your rocks off”. For once I wish I could go back in time and kick myself in the balls for what happened next. We start making out and such, then we begin to grind up on each other. Of course that wakes my junk up and she is aroused too. I feel her up, she has a decent rack like I said before so that was a plus (basically the only plus of this hook up). Then it comes down to the nitty gritty of who makes the move to the pants first. She was a little hesitant but was feeling around down in that general area, but was slow to get to the point. I decided lets get this show on the road. With my hands moving ever so slowly I slide my hands down her pants and massage the lower abdominal area above the vagina, to tease a little. All the while we are kissing and this is where she gets the feeling and pushes my arm down into meat wallet. Slowly I start with the fingering and such, she is soaking wet and everything is going fine at the moment. She then decides to slip her pants off. Now this is where I go “this is a girl after my own heart .. or a complete slut that wants to get boned the fuck up”. The pants come off and the underwear is still on, which is a clear sign of ‘no sex yet just play time’. I forgot to mention I have shorts and she can feel me hard as a rock, which her hand finds every now and again. This is where the story goes absolutely to shit. As every guy does the old “check the stench/smell get the fingers within 6-8 inches of the face” to make sure there isn’t a bad smell coming off. She passed the test .. or so I thought. We are going at it like the kids we are making out passionately while I finger her still. Then she whispers “lick my pussy” and momma didn’t raise no fool if I say no she is going to shut down shop. I oblige and start to head down there. I start to smell something … I shake it off as I keep going down more but the smell keeps getting worse and worse. I was like is it Charlie’s bed? Is there like a sunken in fart that I knocked out of the bed? Next thing you know I’m nose to vagina with this girls pussy, and I’m staring at it like “oh my god, I think I found what smells”. Now what is a guy to do? Do you stop right then and there and embarrass the girl and tell her that she needs to hit that pussy with some soap or do you act like a trooper and suck it up. Since I do have to work with this girl in the future I pick the latter and decide to suck it up. I squint my eyes and dive in. WHAT THE FUCK! IT TASTES LIKE I JUST LICKED A 9 VOLT BATTERY! Absolutely the worst taste I have ever tasted in my life, let alone the smell of her pussy was like the mixture of sauerkraut, sweaty armpits and bad deli meat. Now I know I have skill down there but seriously that does not matter worth a shit at this point .. I gag. She then pokes her head up and goes “Brian What’s wrong?”, I go “nothing”. So again I’m face to face with this smelly pussy thinking “ok I’m seriously going to wind up puking on this girls stomach”. I go in for one more crack at it .. I have had enough, I gag again. I then have revenge on my mind because I know if my dick smelt that bad the girl would DEFINITELY make it known to me once that shit hits her mouth. While I still have her taste and stench in my mouth and on my lips I hurry up and plant the biggest kiss on her. She then makes the I just ate a lemon face but knows it’s her taste and smell all over her face now and takes it all in. Revenge has been had. This girl just got a taste of her own medicine and she did not like it at all. She proceeds to stop kissing me and looks at me in horror. I just am looking into her eyes like “yes bitch this is what I just had to put in my mouth, hit that thing with some Lysol and some antibacterial soap”. I don’t say that buy my eyes say everything. She is mortified. Charlie then knocks on his door because he knows I am defiling his bed without asking first. THANK GOD. This is the only reason why I didn’t kick him in the balls upon opening the door because he gave me an excuse to stop. She quickly puts her cloths back on while I tuck my boner into my waistband (the up tuck) and we open the door for Charlie. She does not say a word to me all night during the rest of the party. Let alone her two friends are wasted, the blond is basically out of her face drunk all over the place and Mr. Bad Religion is trying to hit that. She quickly re-convenes with her friends and asks to leave. You know how awkward it must have been to have to look the person in the face that just went down on you and you smelt like an old sweaty baseball hat? She got the hint. She wound up getting picked up no less then 20 minutes later and said a lightening quick goodbye to me and Charlie. The girl did not talk to me for the rest of the summer. We exchanged glances at work and a smile but that was the extent of anything between us again. —— End of Story —— The moral of the story is, if you attempt to date or hook up with someone from work go out on a date first or get some information on where she is from or how she is outside of work. Oh and for the ladies, Clean Your shit up! If you know your not fresh down there DON’T HAVE SOMEONE GO DOWN ON YOU. Luckily I have not had an incident like this after this one. I would like to think I got this experience out of the way early in life. Lucky for me I guess.

Submitted by Brian

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How to Walk Through a Crowded Bar

Thursday, 7 Feb 2008

We have all been there, the bar is packed from front to back and you have to make it to your friends who always think its a good idea to chill in the back (sick). There are many ways to achieve this goal and I’m going to list a few people you meet along the way and maneuvers to get you from point A to fucking point B which feels like miles away.

There is always that group of dickheads who seem to never want to move when you say excuse me and never make eye contact to acknowledge you. If you don’t know what I’m talking about .. YOUR THAT GUY(s). Since when did you take it upon yourselves to become the stone pilars of the bar? Unlike you I move around the bar talking to different groups of friends and saying hello. Sorry If you came there with your ‘boys’ and you marked off your spot accordingly without the inkling to move. I will give you a visual profile of this person(s). You have a smug look on your face like your going to grind on every peice of pussy in the place but fail to make any moves while grab assing with your boys. Unmovable you hold your $3 bud light close to your chest and bop around staring people down that pass by. I ask politely “excuse me” while you sit there and ignore me and not make eye contact. Thats when I take it upon myself to kinda put one arm out and push you out of the way ever so gently until you make eye contact and I now say smugly “excuse me, thank you” while looking you dead in the eyes as I pass. Thanks dick you made my night at the bar that much entertaining douche bag. Go back to standing next to the bar downing Jager bombs with your boys playing ‘lets get so fucked up girls don’t want to speak/dance with us’. Piece of advice .. pace yourself drinking .. move around a little bit and the girls will come as the night goes on. Instead you sit there and do the latter .. then at the end of the night when your jerking yourself off to your own ass in the mirror while I’m plowing a hot girl in my bed and spent no money on her drinks while you paid my freight thinking buying girls drinks is going to win you the battle. Hats off to you.

Then there is the guys/girls who think they are trying out for ‘so you think you can dance and believe they OWN the dance floor. Making it impossible for you to navigate through a big crowd because they want to ‘crunk’ on the dance floor. You my friend can go kill yourself. Ok, you might have some moves (in your head) but there is no reason to clear out room for yourself to do fucking head spins. By the way, people have been dropping glasses on the floor all night chances are 10-1 you touch that floor with anything other then your shoe your going to the hospital for some stitches Mr. Timberlake. I understand you go to a bar for music and the DJ .. but there is a time and a place for everything. When the bar is packed to the balls go drop some E and grind on each other until you make babies. Sounds way more logical then being a hazard to others with your windmill kicks.

The group of gossip girls who giggle and have had way to many apple martinis. They think they are being watched by paparazzi but realistically it’s there best friend screaming “MYSPACE PICTURE!” and “OMG my BFF JILL get in the pic and show me where your babies come from”. You can spot them because all the juice heads and druggies are buying them endless shots for the reason of taking them home. Chances of taking home one of those girls who come in a pack .. slim to none. If you have ever watched the Dave Chappelle “great moments in hookup history” there is no way to take one of these girls home because they made a pact at the beginning of the night to “go home together” like its a fucking lesbian orgy about to happen at there house. More then likely they will be outside the bar shortly laying on the concrete in their own puke. Avoid them. When you try to get past them they give you the pursed lips look and giggle and think there hot shit so they barely budge. This is when you move your drink around a little bit to make sure you spill a little on them so they feel it and move and say “what the fuck” .. then you say “excuse me babe i’ll buy you a shot when I come back around” they will gladly move after that. If they somehow come into contact with you any anytime after this incident say you have a twin brother at the bar and send her on the wild goose chase. These girls .. are bad news but come in boat loads.

Of course there are always the cooperative bunch who are just bar regulars and feel your pain. You can tell who they are because they give you the nod because they just spent 25 minutes getting to the spot that your at now. Give them the nod back and keep moving along you got friends to see. Thank you Ronnie “the regular” you are a gentleman and a scholar!

Every bar has the drug posse. They are probably one of the most easiest to spot because they are staring at all the pretty lights on the dance floor like a caveman who just created fire. Usually they are chewing on straws and barely striking conversation with each other. This group is a bunch of lost causes because not only do they not see you or hear you when you try to get by but the chances are they are in a coma but standing upright. You can usually just push these guys aside with no problem or altercation. When they do come too .. they usually go grab a water from the bar because there brain is about to explode out the top of their skulls. If you’d like poke em .. jab them with an elbow .. anything because its fun. You know how you have that grandma in the old folks home who has dementia or have that Robert Dinero disease from ‘awakenings’ they resemble them the most. Put them in a funny pose and see how long they stay there. Now get back on your mission to your friends on the other side of the bar you sicko!

No night would be complete without encountering the UFC hopefuls. They are the ones who feel like its there right to police the bar. If you look at them the wrong way they are going to make you tap out. With that said they are another group of guys easy to spot. Sporting there always famous ‘TAP OUT’ shirts with occasional sleeves of tattoos these guys are preying upon those people trying to get to other spots of the bar. They are smart too, because they set up road blocks every 10 feet from each other dieing to test out there new Mixed Martial Arts moves on the unsuspecting. I would say avoid them at all costs before they put you in an arm bar and make you feel like your arm is caught in a newspaper press. They are easy to spot so take caution. Oh another way to spot them is look for the guys all jacked up on Red Bull and assorted schnapps, yes that is them.

Not trying to get all racist here but I have to point out these select few people. Since this is done out of comedy and most of these groups are white people I have to share the wealth. The ethnic crowd that keeps to them selfs. Usually these guys are preying on the girls who sneak into the bar and are underage trying to woo them with there soldier boy dance. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then I guess your retarded. They rarely buy drinks because quite honestly they don’t want to drink. They just want to grind up on some ass to earn some credit from there boys for harassing poor girls. Not all ethnic crowds are like this but use your own judgment. They won’t move either. You could be the pope or P. Diddy they wont budge. If they move they will get clowned by there boys and then your going to have a fight on your hands .. usually 100 on just you. If you were the paperboy in the popular Nintendo game you would avoid them like the random oil slicks in the game. Proceed with caution. Your almost there so keep moving on!

Oh wait a fight broke out in front of you. Now you have to watch out for the Bouncers. You dont’ have to watch out for the bouncers they are there for your protection .. right? Wrong, they push anything and anyone out of there way. You can be a 5’2″ 110lb girl, they are going to TRAMPLE you! You have to keep a keen eye out for these guys. They knock you over or your drink out of your hand .. what you going to do? Complain? They are merely doing there jobs keeping the peace. Not only are they swim moving you across the top of your head to get to the rukus, they are stiff arming clothes lining and shoving randoms out of there way. Here is another video game reference to make it easier. They are the trucks and you are frogger. You get hit be them its game over! Plain and Simple. They are very easy to spot because of there STAFF shirts and mostly because there HUGE averageing 6’3″ or higher with a weight about 3x more then yourself. Stay out off the train tracks when they are coming through! (pictured is my little brother John he’s harmless I swear.. lol) Well that concludes the people you meet along the way of navigating yourself through a packed bar in hopes of catching up with your friends before they even leave. Oh fuck! Its been 2 hours of trying to criss cross, zig zag your way through the bar? Yep, your friends are gone. No doubt about it. Well at least I’m still here to share a brew with you .. Drink up!

Submitted by Brian

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Summer Slowdown.

Thursday, 20 Jul 2006

Of course with any great site .. it slows down in the summer with action. Mainly due to people actually going out and living it up in the beautiful weather. Hey, i can’t complain I just got off a four day weekend two days binge drinking, one day going to a water park then hitting up the Yankees game right after last night. So its hard to get the new content up. But without further hesitation .. more pictures and a couple words.

First off is a little party at the tortoso’s, (which is always good because I can get horrifically trashed and walk 100 feet to my house) where we celebrated Vicki’s birthday. Is it me or is it every weekend we have something to fuckin celebrate. My liver is in fuckin shock .. but im a trooper and i’m sure i’ll survive. Let me give props where there due. Ryan and Shell ran table all night long (look down further you two to the beer pong notice) and would not get off the table. They also completed a double cup on the night i believe on the first shots vs some team (ours). A great night none the less. Here is another picture of the girlies just for some cheap hits to the site thru eye-candy

Also in the NEW Dirty Dalerz Photo Gallery, are pictures from Lisa’s party click on the picture below to check them out. Since i was not there Tina took care of the picture taking for me

Ok, so last night me and Charlie went to the Yankees vs. Seattle Baseball game. We didn’t have tickets so we were expecting to get some cheap bleachers when we arrived at like 6:45 for a 7:00 start. No luck, game day window was closed. Fuck! Start the mad dash for tickets. Dirty Scalpers wanted as much as $40 a ticket for fuckin TEIR RESERVED aka Nose Bleeds… fuck that. We waited a little more .. once the scalpers heard the national anthem and the game about to start .. prices started to fall. Haha until I had five scalpers fighting for my money. $25 a ticket later .. for the best BLEACHERS SEATS YOU WILL EVER HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!! Row CC, yes .. that is the first row in the bleachers section. I been to many of Yankees games in my favorite seating section the bleachers but NEVER front row (in Lefty Home Run Territory too).

We dashed into the stadium hopeing our tickets weren’t for last years games (fuckin scalpers) .. lol .. and they were legit, we make it in for roll call. Yanks wound up winning in the ninth after a rain delay (we weren’t there for it which sucked) but we did come out of it with a ball. Bernie realizeing that we were sitting in seats we will never aquire again (lol) .. he made the third out of an inning and tossed the ball up our way and of course big mama’luke Charlie stuck his mits out and grabbed it for a nice lil souvenier. All downhill from there an hour into our train ride which was stopped most of the time 15 min outta jamaica, got called back to jamaica due to a power line down on the tracks in New Hyde Park. No trains on the Ronkonkoma line for the rest of the night. Fuckin’ Bullshit. After sitting at jamaica for 2 hours waiting for a Babylon train we finally made our way home. At 3 am. Yeah, i missed my train when i woke up this morning .. but i did get a funny picture yesterday which i would love to share. I love chinese people. Catch you all friday for the Dirty Dalerz game vs. the number one team.

Submitted by Brian

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Baseballs hottest Wife…

Thursday, 30 Mar 2006

So what happens when your a major league pitcher and your wife is the hottest thing to come out of New york… FHM takes pictures and i decide to share with you thats what. Well anyway this months FHM Cover girl Anna Benson is well known thought out the baseball world… In fact, shes the reason her husband got traded for a bag of balls out of New York to Baltimore. but enought about her husband Kris Benson. More ANNA…. anyway.. the Title of her article was named,” Anna Benson takes her husband deep…” found that quick funny but ironic at the same time. Who wouldnt take her deep. Its been said that her husband will no give her any sex before and on the days he pitches. Could you think of a logical reason why he would do such a thing. She has also stated that if he ever won the Cy Young award .. shed let him do anything to her and in her own words she states,”If you win one, you can do anything to me , ill do anythign to you, thats at least 50 free shots up the ass for real.” Now if thats not the best reason to win one i dont know what is. Imagine if he won the world series… ummm yea im getting excited for nothing but here is the FHM…. Anna Benson spread located in our famous skin bin.

Submitted by nacho

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No homo – Question for the girls?

Wednesday, 25 Jan 2006

Notice the NO HOMO in the title .. so this cannot be considered gay. Ok, so I was listening to the Booker Podcast from iTunes. Booker is on the new talk radio format for 92.3 kroq or now 92.3 freeFM where he is on from like 5 to 11 pm and catch his kind of Best of’s on iTunes. The topic for one segment was would girls rather a Really good looking dude with small junk .. or an average looking guy with big junk. Which kind of makes sense when you see a ugly looking dude with a hot chick .. that dude MUST have a pipe .. or loads of money. A good point was made .. when you get older and looks are deminishing .. at least you still have a pipe as if you were good looking when you were younger .. your left old and with lil equipment. Question is to the girls who visit the site .. what would you rather .. a hot looking guy with a small peesh .. or a average/below average looking dude with a fuckin belly poker?

LEAVE ALL ANSWERS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION WHERE THE HEADER IS !!! or click here

Submitted by Brian

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So i lied.

Friday, 7 Oct 2005

Ok, so I lied a little bit about making a post a day, blow me. The whole reason behind not posting .. 1. Getting my new camera so I could take pictures to post 2. Listen to the whole H.I.M. cd un-interrupted and 3. Cause I was just to lazy, if those aren’t reason enough .. then how about you write for the site bitch? Ok, Then. Well the Yankees Lost Game 2 and Ching-Ming-Wong-Long-Dong pitched a great game but the Yankees made some little leauge errors and basically lost the game because of it, but like I said in the prior post as long as we take at least one game away from the Angels before heading to the Bronx where Randy Johnson is going to be pitching, that will be just fine. Good luck to Randy tonight and I hope he pitches a gem. Now that I’m all back up to speed with technology lately by purchasing both an iPod nano (white 4gb) and the Sony DSC-T7, possibly one of the the smallest most powerful cameras on the market I kinda feel like I’m back up with the times. I’m going to be reveiwing both on here possibly just to give the geeks that come to my site a little something to jerk off to. I will make sure not to forget the dudes who come here for Lindsay Lohans nipple slip and Maxim spreads there will be more of that shit happening too and you know there is going to be new pictures of the beautiful DirtyDalerz girls in the gallery ASAP. All those times where we have had events in the last few months and everyone would bitch and moan “b.c. where is your camera this would be a perfect oppurtunity for you to take a picture” I assure you that will not happen, examples of missed picture oppurtunities .. Brian Almost taking a dump on some girls stoop, John and Chris in there Mullet wigs .. Jay being so outrageously drunk and getting tossed around by Charlie .. Brian thinking he can walk back to JJ’s before Charlie and Matt Matt can drive back from the middle of Sunrise Highway .. Wally Beans birthday pictures .. Yes, I know alot of missed photo op’s but .. NO MORE .. I’ll be on my shit this time around. I have been SLOWLY updateing each profile as much as I can for each DirtyDaler in the Dalerz Profilez section .. hella

most recently updated was Hella who provided me with a great picture (terrible team) of him and Mr. Met which I was more then happy to replace quickly for him also he updated his profile a little bit to reflect his current age and contacts so If you see your profile is a little behind the times just e-mail me what you want your cover picture to be and a little updated profile to PROFILES@dirtydalerz.com and I’ll put it up ASAP. Just ask Lisa and Claire who had there profiles updated in August because they gave me more updated info. Just update it you fags. nukka

Now for a the fun part of the post I found this link off Gorillamask.net for a site all about the beer looter you have ALL seen in pictures and now he is being photoshopped into other pictures that are fuckin’ hilarious. BeerLooterDude.com has tons of pictures that will make you piss yourself like the picture shown here on the left. My favorite of course is the whack a mole looter. You can waste just about and hour looking thru all of the hilarious pictures. So yea go check that out. Well it’s 12pm and I’m already looking forward to happy hour tonight with the friends .. so hit up the cell if your in the area to come hang out with the Dirtys and if you see me out tonight don’t hesitate to say hi. NEXT POST: Fort Minor

Submitted by Brian

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Gentlemen Grab Your Lotion..

Friday, 16 Sep 2005

Ok, grab your lotion, a couple wet naps and saran wrap your computer monitor .. this is going to get messy. From under the radar a girl pops up from nowhere (even though she was on General Hospital, but who watchs that who has a penis) Kelly Monaco has graced the pages of Maxim to only make me glue the pages together with B.C. juice and make me rush to get the pictures onto the site. I was actually notified about Kelly Monaco (pictured above) from another girl who said on any given day “I would let her sit on my face, she is soo HOT!” .. now that is the ultimate compliment coming from one girl to another. Now Kelly has gotten more exposure for a show that airs on ABC called “Dancing With The Stars” which isn’t up on my list of shows to watch and Maxim just had to get this hot body in there pages. Click on the link above for all the pictures that graced maxim PLUS the exclusive web content for subscribers. Let me know what you think about her in the shoutbox on the right –> Now on top of the whole masterbation lead into this post .. I’ll address something that has just started happening in the Long Island area that has prevented fuckin riots. The gas price is officially below $3 !! I found it for $2.99 in two places where I usually find the highest price in gas, so that only means the second rate bodega gas marts will have it cheaper sooner or later .. and thank god because my V8 truck has been rapeing me in gas prices lately. Dumping $100 into your car in gas a week isn’t fun .. but no matter what engine you got you still feel relieved that prices are starting to go back to normal (which $2.50 shouldn’t sound normal) but is better then $3.50. Bush .. do us a favor .. cut the shit and get to work. That is all. Enjoy the pictures.

Submitted by Brian

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The only reasons I dont change the channel…

Tuesday, 6 Sep 2005

Every year Real World & Road Rule producers really know how to choose the staff … maybe not the guys in some case but def the girls…We’ve come from having Coral , Veronica, Jamie and many many more. The list just goes on, But this year many of us guys, and im sure the girls have been as well, in debate on whos the hotter girl on The Real World. Well to be honest this discussion started on a Saturday night at Trubs Lax house in Hofstra. Half of us voting for Melinda and the other Half voting for Johanna. I personally am a Melinda man. I dont know theres just something about a white girl with blonde hair that seems chill as fuck and who loves walking around in her tiny ass underwear… Just turns me on … maybe im a freak or whateva but im sure there are tons of guys that have their eye on her. Yet on the other hand there is Johanna, The girl who was blamed for the incident of Danny getting his ass whooped by a Texan. God was that some funny shitt, but anyway … yea Johanna is hott but I feel shes just a jap who thinks the world should revolve around her.. Just seems like the type of girl that a guy would want to impress and then the more he found about her hed be like wtf did I get my self into .. this bitch is High Maintnence. Maybe im wrong casue i dont know her , just saying what i feel when i see her. But in reality i do have to question both women…. They both made out with Wes. What the fuck were they thinking giving that boy any play. They just made his fucking life hooking up with that tool bag. So in the End I give both woman an A in hottness an F for hooking up with Wes and i leave it for Melinda as the winner with an A in personality.

Check out more pictures in the Skin Bin on your left of the Real World Austin Girls!

Submitted by nacho

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And The Best Ass Goes to…….

Wednesday, 27 Jul 2005

Well I was minding my own business, bored as hell just messing around on the computer, when I came across GorillaMask.Net … I love their work…Any how , what do u think the first thing I saw … thats right you guess it , a Vida Guerra spread. I was amazed once again at her beauty and felt I should share it with all of you guys on this fine night. Unlike any Maxim or FHM spread I’ve ever seen come out of her, I say this one was the best . So it comes to me at no surprise that im sure most of you will put her as your computer background or will start beatting off to her pics as soon an you can get some alone time. So beat away and just remember… theres always more where that came from.